ALWAYS A Part of Me

Yesterday was the second anniversary of mom's death. I've always thought the passing of time would erase some of the heartache, but it really doesn't. I still think of her everyday. I know that if mom was here, she would be the "one in my corner." She would work with me everyday through the struggles with my kids health. She would give me good advice on dealing with friends. She would share the recipies that were stored only in her head.

I have a million thoughts running through my head and my heart regarding my mom. Therefore, once again I will resort to a list to describe my memories.

1. During cold season my mom always smelled of Vicks Vapo Rub and had a Kleenex rolled up in the sleeve of her shirt.

2. As a little girl, I loved to lay behind my mom on the couch during the morning. I loved how she felt of soft flannel pajamas (and yes, smelled of Vicks Vapo Rub).

3. My mother sneezed louder than most human beings. Oh, and she yawned loudly too. And for fun she would always drag out the "ooooo" at the end of a sneeze and the "awwww" in the middle of the yawn as if she was screaming. I think you could hear her for blocks, but it was funny.

4. My mother had the appearance of an angel but the sense of humor given to devils. She had a loud, course laugh that she used only in those devilish moments.

5. My mom was a neat freak and she ironed EVERYTHING. I can remember her checking my refrigerator grate when she would visit. Growing up, people would comment on how she kept our house so clean while raising three girls.

6. My mom had a home remedy for everything. It usually involved a form of asprin and a heating pad. And on a bad day, it would involve rectal suppositories or enemas. (No child abuse involved, I promise!)

7. My mom was a closet smoker. Man, I'm not even sure she ever knew that we were on to her! She would sneak over to our neighbors to smoke. And....she kept the cigs in her purse.

8. Every now and then I would catch my mom crying over the loss of her dad and her brother.

9. My mom was a nervous driver. She HATED to drive to downtown Cleveland. In addition, if dad or any of us girls were more than five minutes late getting home....we were DEFINATELY in an auto accident or laying dead in a ditch.

10. My mom was a lady. She was always telling us when we weren't "lady-like." Growing up, we always had Easter hats and purses with white gloves and cloth handkerchiefs.

11. Mom loved her grandkids. Everytime I had given birth and the baby would eat for the first time, she would always say, "boy he/she is a big eater." I thought that was funny. To her, Austin was the next Albert Einstein, Paige was the next Cindy Crawford, and Trent was so sweet...he had to be the next Billy Graham.

12. My mom had a crush on my dad until her last breath. I LOVED that about her. She would send us girls around to do her "dirty work." She would always say, "check who he is talking on the phone with" or "ride down the street and find your dad." She couldn't have him far away. Once she told me that "dad isn't a softee, but he would walk through fire for his girls." I thought that was sweet.

13. Mom was one of the smartest people I've known. When I was pregnant with Austin, she told me to pray for average kids. Anything above or below was difficult to handle...and BOY was she correct.

14. My mom was a worker. She was ALWAYS cooking, cleaning, sewing, planting, etc.

15. My mom always had time for everyone. People were always asking for her help....and she always provided it.

Honestly, I can hardly wait to see my mom again. But, for now, I take comfort in the fact that she is with the Lord. I also take comfort in knowing what a genuine gift I was given to have her as my mom. She will ALWAYS be a part of me.

Hugs, mommy!