AND I DO QUOTE:
Monday, June 30, 2008
1) I have no desire to give birth again, although I love babies. I just prefer to get them from other people now!
2) I have no desire to go to Burbon Street in New Orleans again. Do the words Sodom and Gamorrah (I hope I spelled that correctly) mean anything to anyone?
3) I have no desire to take a cruise.
4) I have no desire to go to Vegas, although I know it's coming down the pike. That's what happens when you marry a gambler!
5) I have no desire to run a marathon. I used to "try" to run. I hate it. Period.
6) I have no desire to pierce anything other than my ears OR get a tatoo. I'm a wimp and I'm comfortable with it.
7) I have no desire to eat anything that has a shell. Blech!
8) I have no desire to get anything I have created in scrapbooking or paper crafting published. I do it for myself and my family. I don't really need the "pat on the back" from a bunch of strangers. Plus, I could care less if they like my work. (Charming, aren't I?)
9) I have no desire to meet celebrities. I'm not someone to be ga-ga over people in the spotlight. You MAY get my attention because you are rather spectacular looking....otherwise, nah. I'd rather spend time with my girlfriends than chase a celeb.
10) Lastly, I have no desire to ride a rollercoaster. **gasp!** How could she say that? She lives near Cedar Point! ...It's pretty simple: fear of heights. God intended for my feet to be touching solid ground.
Okay, so now that those cards are on the table...how about Ten Things I Desire?
1) I have the desire to have a conversation with Billy Graham. I know I sound older than my years, but this guy has some MAJOR MAJOR spiritual wisdom....and he is cool. :) (oh..and for you Bush haters...Yeah..I would like to chat it up with him, too. I like my GDUB! HA! So There!)
2) I have a desire to rent an RV and travel across the United States with my family.
3) I have a desire to live in a small cabin, by a lake when I retire. Enough of the suburbs.
4) I have the desire to learn to knit and decorate cakes.
5) I have the desire to go back to school. I wouldn't mind doing something with special ed or psychology. I wonder why? Could it be that I already have life experience? Hhmmmm.... Okay, and I love school and I love to learn.
6) I have the desire to raise Godly kids, who have something to contribute to this life in a positive way. Korney....but true.
7) I have the desire to finish all my scrapbooks before I die so that my kids remember exactly how I felt about them and how proud they made me!
8) I have the desire to lose weight, although I don't think my body has the same desire. IT. ISN'T COOPERATING.
9) I have the desire to keep an organized house. I have always had this desire. It just hasn't happened yet! *channeling Marth Stewart here!**
10) Lastly, I have the desire to be a good person, good wife, good mom and good friend. I figure I'm gonna live a long time because I am not NEARLY ready for heaven.
Okay, flame away. I'm sure I will get some comments on Georgie Bush. If you are interested in playing along, I think I will tag: Jen Bueck, Trish, Jen Forbus, Tina and Pam (although she hasn't blogged since Christmas).
Thursday, June 26, 2008
And this is how the evening turned out! IT RAINED! We had to move everything, including the DJ inside. But, it worked out great. They put videos with the words on our dining room walls so the kids could do kareoke. It was so fun! Austin had a couple of guys over on the same night and Trent had Jeremy Geye sleep over. So everyone was entertained. The most impressive part of the night? Jesse, Austin's friend, danced for everyone. He showed them how the "two-step" is actually supposed to look like!
And lastly, I have an important introduction and a word of thanks.At the end of Trent's school year he created Flat Blackburn. You may have heard of Flat Stanley....well, this is Flat Blackburn. Our "Flat Stanley" went to Florida to visit the Rodriquez Family (a.k.a. our old neighbors). Boy did Stanley Blackburn have fun. Chris (as usual) went the whole nine yards with super photographs of Stanley's adventures in Florida and sand right off of their beaches!
If you do not know about Flat Stanley, each child is asked to create a Stanley out of paper. They send them to a friend who takes them on adventures and reports everything back to the original owner (of course, when returning Stanley).
MANY, MANY thanks to Chris, Angel, Nicholas and Elaina. You took such great care of Stanley and he had an awesome time in Florida. And thank you for the special treats you sent to Trent. You are the reason his day was so, so wonderful!
Monday, June 9, 2008
I look at Austin's group of close friends and I think, "they are truly a cast of characters." You may see some familiar faces. There is Ryan and Elliot, Marty, Andrew and Nick. Of course there is Jessie Hebert. Jessie left LW, but comes back EVERY day to visit and they still consider him a member of the LW Class of 08. So.....Congratulations everyone!
There were several interesting parts to Austin's graduation on June 6th. First off, IT WAS 95 degrees in the gymnasium. We had to take water bottles and mini fans to make it through the ceremony. My nephew Cory was the cross bearer. An old friend of Mike's family was the guest speaker. Mr. Waugh mentioned Austin in his speech (the 5'9" male who likes walks on the beach) AND Stephanie spoke as Valedictorian and mentioned our friend, Jessie Hebert. BUT, the most controversial event was the speech given by the salutatorian. Let's just say, it was rather inappropriate. He rehearsed one speech and gave a different speech at graduation. There weren't too many happy faces (especially the principal sitting behind him). I guess we will be talking about this for years! HA!
Another door closing is .....TRENT FINISHED SECOND GRADE! Below is Trent with a picture of his teacher, Mrs. Fuchs. Notice the effort in looking at the camera while being hugged by your teacher? I have found one of the "tests" for a great teacher is how I feel at the end of the year when looking forward to the next. This year, I know Trent is academically prepared, but I think "how will we do it without her?" THAT, my friends, is how you know you have a keeper. I have a lot more gushing to do about Mrs. Fuchs. That will come in the future. ;)
Here is to a great summer!
Friday, June 6, 2008
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.
NAME________ _________ _________ _________ __
DATE OF BIRTH_______ ______
HEIGHT______ _____ WEIGHT______ ______ IQ__________
GPA Grid________ _____ INCOME TAX FILE NUMBER ____________ _____
DRIVERS LICENCE ____________ ____BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES______ _________ _________ _________ _________
HOME ADDRESS_____ _________ _________ STATE_______ ____
Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain: ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____ ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___
Number of years they have been married ____________ _________ _________
If less than your age, explain ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __
A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No
B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No
C. A waterbed? __Yes __No
D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No
E. A tattoo? __Yes __No
F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?
(IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)
ESSAY SECTION: In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you? ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _____ ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _____
In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you? ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _____ ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _____
In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you? ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _____ ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _____
Church you attend ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___ How often you attend ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________
When would be the best time to interview your:
Father? ____________ _Mother?_____ ________Priest or Pastor? ____________ _
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely as all answers are confidential.
A: If I were shot, the last place I would want to be shot would be: ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _____
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my: ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _____
C: A woman's place is in the: ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _____
D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is: ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _____
E. What do you want to be IF you grow up? ____________ _________ _________ _ ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _____ ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _____
F: When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is: ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _____
G: What is the current going rate of a motel room? ____________ _________ _____
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,INDIGENOUS AUSTRALIAN BULL ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE and RED HOT POKERS
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)____________ _________ _________ _
____________ _________ _________ __
____________ _________ _________ _
____________ _________ _________ __
State or Federal Government Representative
(Their stamp goes here )Notary Public
Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties carrying violin cases. (You might want to watch your back.) To prepare yourself, start studying Daddy's Rules for Dating.
Your dad's rules for your boyfriend (or for you if you're a guy):
Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a carton of beer, because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world sex without utilizing a 'Barrier method' of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five:It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: 'early.'
Rule Six:I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Sydney Harbour Bridge . Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool, places where there is darkness, places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies that feature chain saws are okay. Cricket games are okay...Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi . When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
BWHWHWHWWHWHAHAHAHAHA! I love it. Too good.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Not bad for 8th grade, eh? Thanks for letting me brag. I'm a proud mama!
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Didn't Austin look great? He has his grandpa's crooked smile! HA!
When Mike and I shaparoned the after prom, we heard several stories about kids "going out" on their prom dates or ditching them at the dance. Then, of course, there is the kids who ignore their date. I don't get it. Honestly, where are their parents? UGH! No manners! On the other hand, most of the kids had a wonderful time! It was cute to watch the boys do their best to be gentlemen!
Well, I soaked it all in and I love the guy in this picture. He is wonderful and I feel lucky and blessed. He is everything we could want in a son.